I’m writing this mainly to get my feelings out onto paper to help me feel a little bit better but also I wanted to share because I know so many of us are going through this difficult time.
I’m over it. I am so over it. If I have to say yes to downloading another game on an iPad, yes to another snack, wash up more dirty dishes, wash even more clothes than I thought humanly possible, take another Teams call with a child on my lap, under my legs or crying for more screen time I am going to go insane!
And even though I know we’re all in the same boat... it somehow doesn’t make it any easier.
Spring is on its way, the mornings are brighter and the evenings are longer which does just feel lovely, but yet somehow trying to find a glimmer of hope is so difficult. The truth is I am struggling more than I realised the past few weeks and it’s only until things came to a head for me that I realised I need to take a step back.
I’ve been putting on a brave face like we all have to be honest juggling work, home, kids, shielding, vaccine and everything else in between. I’m trying to do the best in every situation and ultimately feeling like a failure in most of them. I’ve taken a break this week which has already done me the world of good just to be worrying about one less thing is such a relief.
I’m staying optimistic we do have good news around the corner it’s just a matter of time. And I strongly believe if we can get through this we can get through anything.
You’re smashing it. We are all smashing it.
Take that gulp of fresh air on your own out in the garden, go for that walk on your own, make that fresh cup of coffee and actually drink it, be selfish, sometimes we all need to be.
I don’t think any of us honestly feel ok. And if you’re really not feeling ok... it’s totally ok. Let it out, keep talking, you’ll feel so much better.
All the love
A x